This was a very lean Christmas in the Clarke household. My wife Heather and I went through all of our belongings and sold whatever we could to pay for Christmas gifts.
I’ve owned a Segway that had been sitting in my garage unused for a year, it was broken and I had never taken the time to fix it. I found a gentleman on Craigslist that was willing to trade my Segway for his Phantom 3 AdvancedDronewith Two Extra Batteries and a Custom Back Pack.
I was so excited to give this gift to my 15 year old boy Noah. He’s such a special young man and I knew that he was going to be so excited to get this gift.
I was correct when Noah opened this gift on Christmas he couldn’t believe it. Noah is adrone/electronics/computer programming fan and this was a realdrone, The DJI 3 Advanced.
On December 27th Noah went down to the large pond in the center of our neighborhood to fly thedroneand to do some filming. Thedronecame with a really nice camera.
A couple of hours later Noah came racing home on his bike, and jumped off frantically and ran into the house. Thedronehad crashed into a branch while he was landing it, and it fell into the pond. My son was devastated. He was yelling at himself and crying. As a father this was one of the most painful things I’ve experienced with my boy.
Noah took thedroneto the dining room table and tried to get it apart, he was so upset that he couldn’t concentrate to do it and I could see he was about throw in the towel.
I sat down at the dining room table and started going threw our very large collection of tools to find a very small star bit. Finally I found the correct size and removed the first screw and then another.
For the next five or six hours we took apart every single inch of the drone, separating the 11 different size screws, meticulously drying each and every part, wire, and electric board with a hair dryer.
The shell was cracked, the arm that controlled the movements of the camera snapped in half.
We ordered a new shell and a new control arm for the gimbal off of eBay. We had to wait three days for the packages to arrive. And then we started to put the drone back together.
So we finally got the drone put back together, with the help of numerous videos on YouTube. The drone will power on but the compass is broken and the drone won’t recognize the camera just yet. A new compass arrives today, we will take the shell apart again, install the new part and hope that we get liftoff. After that we’ll start to try and figure out the camera issue.
The truth of the matter is I’m not exactly sure that we are going to be successful in restoring the drone to its full capabilities. The thing is it doesn’t really matter if it ever flies again, though I’m hopeful that it will. In the end the time that I’ve spent with my son, and the lessons that we’ve learned together about patience, perseverance, faith, and love far out weigh whether this particular bird ever flies again.
The Lord has given me such a wonderful son in Noah, I am so proud to be his father.
I’m in HHI today sitting on the beach and reflecting upon the many blessings that God has put into my life.
The Phoenix is in flames. But that is right when God is ready to perform a miracle, life out of death.
This morning I weighed in at 195.8 lbs. I’m down 6.4 lbs in 5 days.
Today and tomorrow are a huge challenge for me. I’m on the road for two days away from home. Tonight I’m going out to eat at a nice restaurant. There will be lots of food that I would love to indulge in.
I just got back from an hour at the hotel gym walking on the treadmill to help burn off some of the unintended calories from tonight. I burned 400 calories walking and depending how badly I eat at dinner I might be back on that treadmill tonight.
The hotel does not have a scale so I will be without one tomorrow morning. I like weighing myself every day during this phase of my weight loss journey. The meals that I eat tonight and tomorrow have the chance of setting me back and I don’t want to let that happen.
I’m going to get on my LoseIt app and try to plan my dinner out before I get there. They have an online menu. I’m hoping that by deciding what I’m going to eat before I get there that it will be easier for me to make the right choices about what I actually eat.
After my hour on the treadmill my LoseIt app says that I have 1224 calories remaining in my day that I could eat. A very good meal should be way below that number, but throw in some mashed potatoes and a piece of banana cream pie and all of a sudden you are way beyond that 1224 calories.
Off to get ready for dinner. I’m praying that I make wise choices tonight I want to keep crushing this weight loss.
Forgive me Father it’s been 13 months and 15 days since my last confession. Mark Twain said that “if you don’t like the weather in New England just wait five minutes.” I’ve found that’s true with a lot of things in life. Just when you think that you have something figured out it changes.
A little more that two years ago I was weighing in at 140 lbs, running daily and feeling good about myself. Last week I hit the scale at 202 lbs, have been doing no exercise of any kind and feeling horrible about myself. In my adult life I’ve gained 40 to 60 lbs four times and lost it three.
So here I am again back in the same situation that I’ve put myself in before. It takes a lot of work, a lot of commitment to eating and no exercise to gain 60 lbs. I’ve used the app LoseIt the last time I lost the weight and I’ll be using it again this time. So after five days of logging what I’ve been eating into LoseIt I weighed in this morning at 197 lbs, down 5 lbs hooray.
I have my eating planned out for today already:
Breakfast: zone peanut butter and chocolate bar 210 calories
Do you feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders today. You’ve prayed and prayed and asked God to intervene on your behalf but still nothing. Your closest friends and family are telling you that if you just had more faith that thing which has been a burden to you would simply be lifted away. The Apostle Paul wrote almost a third of the entire New Testament and he was a man of great faith and yet there was an issue which he prayed about three times that God did not remove from His life. He simply told Paul that His grace was sufficient for him that God’s power was made perfect in his weakness.
Today you may have woke up and your career may be on the brink of collapse. A physical ailment has caused you continual pain and relief is no where in sight. A relationship has ended and there is no hope of reconciliation. You’ve prayed over and over about these things yet the answer has been the same of no answer.
God hasn’t forgotten about you today. He sees where you are and knows what you are going through. Take courage today God desires to be closer to you then He’s ever been.
You can’t carry this burden alone but He will help you to bear up under it if you let Him.
Do you have a son or daughter who has wandered off, the prodigal child. Do you feel helpless to do anything to get them back to the person that you remember. Acknowledging that outside of prayer that there is very little that you can do is a good first step. I am not deminishing the power of prayer contrary I would actually say that I am elevating it to the highest position. We can’t change someone’s heart. We can’t heal them of the hurts and scars on their hearts, but God can. He is the Great Physician, the Mighty Counselor, the Prince of Peace. Your best hope is to cry out to the One that can do all things.
Twenty-five years ago I was living in Colorado Springs, CO. My life was a complete and utter mess. I had recently failed at of DeAnza College in Cuppertino, CA the home of Apple. I wasn’t part of the cool group of students growing up, I was on the outskirts of the high school population. My first day on the campus at DeAnza College I met Rick. He was everything that I wasn’t. For one he was a swimmer and his body was tanned and perfect. The ladies loved him, he knew everyone, and for some unknown reason he thought I was cool.
I started hanging out with Rick, his friend Bob Jaggerson, and the huge crowd of people that they knew. I was going out to all of the best night clubs, frat parties at San Jose State, and late night post party trips to San Fran. For the first time in my brief 18 years I was cool, and people now started seeking me out to get together. This was the beginning of my downward spiral into drinking heavily, and trying psychedelic drugs of every variety. For the next two years my life kept going farther and farther down. By the time I was twenty the first thing that I would do every day would be to smoke enormous amount of weed. My goal for the day would be to stay as high as possible for as much of the day as possible.
Fast forward a short time later and I was a regular attendee at Grateful Dead shows, I was working as little as possible and staying high as much as possible. I was no longer going out to the clubs and hanging out with Rick and Bob I was hanging out with two of the biggest stoner brothers that you could imagine. Mike had tried to commit suicide and was in a bad way over his young wife that had left him.
Mike and his brother had the bright idea that we should jump on tour with the Grateful Dead full time. So without a second thought I dropped every relationship that I had to search for the meaning of life in Uncle John’s Band. We packed up my friends 1977 Plymouth Station Wagon and my 1980 Datsun 200sx and headed into the Sierra Nevada mountains. We stopped at my Uncle Tscombe and Jo’s house in Truckee, CA. They told me pretty quickly that my life was swirling down the toilet fast and that I needed to turn things around. I did not take their advice and we headed to Reno and then on to Denver for a Dead Show at mile high stadium. The Plymouth wagon barely made it over the Rockies. Both of our wipers froze over and we had to drive our cars with our heads out the drivers side window. Outside of God’s grace we should have not survived that trip to Denver.
Both of our cars were not in good shape. We decided that we would have to get a place and find some jobs to make enough money to pay for the needed repairs. We found a small home in Colorado Springs and the three of us got jobs at the Garden of God’s private club.
Within a short time of our arrival I was introduced to a well known drug dealer who had been to prison for dealing and whose house was under surveliance. I began spending a good amount of time at his house. My father and I got into a huge argument after he found out from my old friends in California how much drugs that I was doing. Things were just getting worse and worse. My roommate Mike tried to commit suicide two more times and was never sober. His brother Josh was shaking up with a woman double his age who was doing all kinds of crazy drugs.
After Michael’s third attempt at suicide I had my own brush with a life altering event. The day after the Grateful Dead concert at mile high I went to my drug dealers house. At the show I had taken a very large quantity of psychedelic drugs. I thought they were duds however because they had not affected me in any noticeable way.
While at my drug dealers house I smoked a very large quantity and potent strength weed. All of the psychedelic drugs that I had taken the day before activated in my system at one time. What happened next can only be described as being sent on a permanent psychedelic trip. I had always heard anecdotel stories about people that went over the proverbial rainbow never to return. This was just such an occasion. One of my dealers customers had to drive me home, any meaningful communication was not possible at that time.
Once at home I sat alone crying in the center of my room. I had virtually nothing with me, save some books that were stacked on the floor. While in California I had met a girl Anna Favour. She had given me a Bible and a long letter about how much God loved. I tucked the letter in the Bible and the Bible in it’s box. There I sat in the middle of my room trying to figure out how was I going to get out of this mess. I kinda just thought they would put me in the mental ward and throw away the key. I couldn’t communicate with anyone at this point so I did the one thing I was hoping would help me. I opened the box with the Bible in it and started reading from Genesis 1:1. In the beginning there was God. I couldn’t understand to communicate with anyone but the Bible and the words on the page did make sense. So I sat on that floor for the next 5-6 hours reading page after page of the Bible and crying out to God to rescue me from the fate of a life long trip to Crazy Town.
Over the next 5-6 hours my sanity slowly started to return. Sometime in following 12 hours I finally passed out and slept. Hours and hours of torment brought me to brink of myself.
That day I resolved that it was time to head to home. It took a week or two to save up the money. Early one morning I packed up my 1980 Datsun 200sx and drove 38 straight hours home to my Dad’s house in NJ. When my Dad and Stepmom opened the door to say that they were shocked was an understatement.
Did my life immediately get back on track not quite. I soon realized that staying with them wasn’t an option. My mom took me in. God used her to help redeem what the locusts had stolen.
About a year and a half later on my 22nd birthday November 3rd 1992 I gave my life to Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
Has life been easy far from it. There have been many pot holes along the way on the road of life. There has been an 18 year marriage to the most wonderful special woman in the entire world. I am the proud father of three incredible children.
Along the journey I’ve attended Bible College and Seminary. I’ve been a server, bartender, pastor, and manager. I’ve been up, I’ve been down Ive had fantastically awesome days and the worst of the worst days.
Life has not been easy, it hasn’t been paved with a bed of rose petals. There has been days I haven’t wanted to get out of bed. There have been days I’ve run 50 miles.
All that being said what does all of it mean? If I hadn’t responded to the call to come home in the Spring of 1990 I would either have died or been in jail.
If you’re son or daughter is lost and you think them beyond your ability to help. That you believe them beyond redemption or hope you are completely wrong. It might be true that they ar beyond your help but my life is a testimony to the goodness, mercy, grace, loving kindness and long suffering of our great God and King.
Prayer is the best thing that you can do for them. God hasn’t forgotten you and He hasn’t given up or forsaken them. Wait expectantly for that knock on the door. All of Heaven and Earth rejoices when a son or daughter comes home.
I haven’t played golf in over three years. I haven’t touched my guitar in three years. I hadn’t written anything meaningful in well over a year. The kids and I haven’t camped out in over a year. I haven’t run with my son in over a year and haven’t run with my wife in months and months. I hardly sleep continually working on things that seem to be of exceeding importance. I never say no, always fearful of what that might seem like to those who control my fate.
A lot of you out there probably can relate. You have a similar list of activities that you used to enjoy doing with your family or by yourself. But like me you have gotten used to saying no. No to your spouse, no to your kids, no to yourself. You have gotten very good at saying no to everyone and everything except your career.
We never planned on things being this way. We never intended to sacrifice our relationships for our careers. We tell ourselves that unless we do this or that we will be left behind, or worse yet that we might fail entirely and be fired. We justify our actions by saying, “I’m just doing what I have to in order to provide for my family.”. The truth is that our families would give up much to have us instead of the stuff.
We need to ask ourselves is this how a Follower of Christ should live. How many of us are making our decisions based upon the fear of what might happen instead of making our decisions based upon God’s promises to us and our families.
Does this mean that we can go through our lives throwing our hands in the air proclaiming “I don’t have to do anything I just need to trust in the Lord.” Heaven forbid God commands us to “do every good work of service as unto the Lord and not as unto man.” We work hard and with integrity because Christ is our Master. We are His bond servants and He is our Master He has bought us with a price, the price of His blood. So yes we show up on time and we work with all of our hearts but ultimately He tells us when it’s quitting time. When to stop and focus on our families.
There are things that I haven’t done in a while that I need to get back to, things to say yes to. What have you been saying no to that you need to change to a yes?
Sitting on a plane at Hartsfield Jackson Airport in Atlanta getting ready to take off for a trip to Napa Valley. Myself and a team of four from our local store will be meeting our CEO for an all expense paid trip touring Napa and Sonoma.
We won this trip in a company wide contest. I am praying that we arrive safely in Charlotte for the first leg of our journey. May God grant me the grace and peace to shine His light and truth and be an acceptable witness to His goodness.
Whoever you are today, whatever your position, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ you are His witness foremost. You have no choice but that your life be a living testimony to His goodness. Dwight L Moody said ,”Never cease preaching the gospel and if absolutely necessary use words”. Our lives and how we conduct ourselves ought to be all the witness that is necessary.
In nine more days I will celebrate one year of sobriety. I’m sure to some people that would not seem like much of an accomplishment. To me it has been one of life’s greatest.
At this time last year I weighed well over 200 lbs. At this time last year I had a broken bone in my foot and had to go to a podiatrist who said that my blood pressure was very high and that I should look into it. At this time last year I was drinking like a fish. This year my blood pressure is perfect.When I got on the scale this morning I weighed in at 149 lbs. I run 6-10 miles a day most days of the week and take part in long runs of 12-30 miles. I had a physical a couple of months ago to get life insurance. I took the results to my doctor to have him look at them and he said that my numbers were as good as they get. He told me that my good cholesterol was some of the highest that he’s seen. He attributed that to all of the running that I have been doing.
At the start of my journey I began walking every day. I walked 3 miles a day to start. I got up to walking 6-8 miles a day and walking 10miles one day a week. Along with quitting drinking I used an app on my phone called lose it to track everything that I was eating. Using that app was exceptionally beneficial to getting me to where I am today.
Shortly after the new year my wife Heather and I took a course by Dave Ramsey called Financial Peace University. We had to take a financial inventory and determined that we had over $35,000 in debt. We took the course, applied the principles, have gotten on a written budget and have paid off over $11,000 in five months. It has not been easy and along the way we have encountered various roadblocks but we are committed to by God’s grace becoming debt free.
Heather and I began filming a youtube channel called “Running Totally Free” On our channel we have talked about budgeting, getting life insurance, the cash envelope system, garage sales, you name it. We talked many times about the idea of becoming Spiritually, Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally free.
I think that I had fairly much convinced myself that running & Jesus was what had gotten me free from alcohol. And that running had gotten me physically free. I even began to think that running was helping me to become spiritually free as I was listening to worship music or talking to the Lord during my runs. I tried tackling some emotional and mental issues that I was struggling with through controlling my diet combined with all of my running. This only worked while I was running. I would feel almost well while I ran but soon would disappear after my running was done. I gave up caffeine to assist myself with anxiety that I was having and prayed constantly for God’s help.
Lately though I’ve been praying a lot during my running about what it truly means to be free. What kind of freedom can one actually have in theirs lives. What was the source of freedom and was it available to all who sought after it. I’ve been living under the assumption for the good part of 9 months that anyone could achieve spiritual, physical, financial, mental, and emotional freedom.
These past two weeks I have really been reflecting on this train of thought. I’ve been praying long and hard about freedom. I’ve come to a conclusion after much contemplation. You may disagree with my conclusion but I believe it to be true. I am currently under the conviction that Spiritual Freedom is in fact the only kind of freedom that anyone can truly have, and for that matter the only Freedom that is universally available.
Financial freedom is not a freedom that everyone can achieve. There are people born into impoverished nations that though they strive all their days will never escape their impoverished condition. Refute me is you like but I believe this to be true. The gospel of financial freedom is just not one that stands up.
Physical freedom is not a freedom that everyone can achieve. Their are persons that were born disabled and will never be well. Their are those who will become disabled and never be the same. Physical freedom just does not stand up as a gospel that can be preached.
Emotional freedom is not a freedom that everyone can achieve. Their are those whose emotional state has been wrong since the day of their birth. Their are those who suffer emotionally after a tragic event that will never be the same. Emotional freedom also is a gospel that can not be universally preached.
Mental freedom is not a freedom that everyone can achieve. Their are those who were born with a mental illness that will suffer all of their lives. Their are those who become mentally ill in their formative years, and those who suffer mental illness in their later years. Mental freedom also is also a gospel that can not be universally preached.
Spiritual freedom is a freedom that is available to everyone universally. I can be the poorest of the poor and yet the blood of Jesus sets me from the sin and death.
2 Corinthians 6:10(NIV)
Paul says that he is: “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.”
Having nothing, and yet possessing everything. Isn’t that the truth. I may struggle physically, emotionally, and mentally yet still know that I have the Freedom that is found in the blood of Jesus. I may wake each day in the fog of depression but still know that Christ died for me. I may wake each day in abject poverty but my relationship with God will sustain me through the harshest times. I may not be able to walk but God will lift me up from my depths and speak to me through His holy word and encourage my soul. “having nothing, and yet possessing everything”
2 Corinthians 12:6-10(NIV)
The apostle Paul says in regards to his physical condition on earth.
“6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say,7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations.Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Paul suffered with an infirmity all the days of his earthy ministry. “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me…For when I am weak, then I am strong.” His infirmity provided strength for him as he leaned on the freedom that was found in his relationship with Christ. His spiritual freedom was paramount to his physical suffering. “For when I am weak, then I am strong”
Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind
John 9-10:41(NIV)
9 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth.2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.4 As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work.5 While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”6 After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes.7 “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.8 His neighbors and those who had formerly seen him begging asked, “Isn’t this the same man who used to sit and beg?”9 Some claimed that he was.Others said, “No, he only looks like him.”But he himself insisted, “I am the man.”10 “How then were your eyes opened?” they asked.11 He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see.”12 “Where is this man?” they asked him.“I don’t know,” he said.
The Pharisees Investigate the Healing
13 They brought to the Pharisees the man who had been blind.14 Now the day on which Jesus had made the mud and opened the man’s eyes was a Sabbath.15 Therefore the Pharisees also asked him how he had received his sight. “He put mud on my eyes,” the man replied, “and I washed, and now I see.”16 Some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for he does not keep the Sabbath.”But others asked, “How can a sinner perform such signs?” So they were divided.17 Then they turned again to the blind man, “What have you to say about him? It was your eyes he opened.”The man replied, “He is a prophet.”18 They still did not believe that he had been blind and had received his sight until they sent for the man’s parents.19 “Is this your son?” they asked. “Is this the one you say was born blind? How is it that now he can see?”20 “We know he is our son,” the parents answered, “and we know he was born blind.21 But how he can see now, or who opened his eyes, we don’t know. Ask him. He is of age; he will speak for himself.”22 His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders, who already had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue.23 That was why his parents said, “He is of age; ask him.”24 A second time they summoned the man who had been blind. “Give glory to God by telling the truth,” they said. “We know this man is a sinner.”25 He replied, “Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!”26 Then they asked him, “What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?”27 He answered, “I have told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples too?”28 Then they hurled insults at him and said, “You are this fellow’s disciple! We are disciples of Moses!29 We know that God spoke to Moses, but as for this fellow, we don’t even know where he comes from.”30 The man answered, “Now that is remarkable! You don’t know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes.31 We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will.32 Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind.33 If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”34 To this they replied, “You were steeped in sin at birth; how dare you lecture us!” And they threw him out.
Spiritual Blindness
35 Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”36 “Who is he, sir?” the man asked. “Tell me so that I may believe in him.”37 Jesus said, “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.”38 Then the man said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him.39 Jesus said,[a]“For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”40 Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, “What? Are we blind too?”41 Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remain.
The Pharisees who could see were blind because their blindness was a result of their sin and their spiritual bondage. The blind man could see because that Jesus had not only healed his physical body but more importantly his spiritual. Those who are physically well or physically disabled will not be truly free until Christ sets them free spiritually.
I could quote bible verses and stories all day but the final conclusion that I have come to is that the only freedom that is universally available to all is that of Spiritual Freedom. The freedom afforded to us by our government can be taken away at any time. Our financial, physical, emotional, and mental freedom may be taken from us at any time. Spiritual freedom is available to all regardless of our financial, physical, emotional, or mental state. Those who believe that Jesus died for their sins, and was raised from the dead will be saved.
Romans 10:9(NIV)
9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” This is the freedom that lasts for all eternity.
All of our freedoms can be taken away from us except that of salvation, our Spiritual Freedom.
I’m very happy to be running, I’m very happy to be 60lbs lighter, I’m very happy to be sober, and very happy to be working on becoming debt free. I may continue to suffer mentally but pray that there will be answer for that as well. But this I know Christ died for my sins, his blood has washed me clean, and I have been made alive and given a new life in Jesus my Savior.
If you are truly looking for freedom look no farther than the cross. It is there in the blood washed hands and feet of Jesus that your freedom has already been purchased. Simply reach out to the King of the Universe, acknowledge that you are a sinner, pray for the forgiveness of you sins, and accept the only true freedom that is available to all of mankind. The freedom from sin and death. Spiritual Freedom
I was living under the illusion that Jesus was using my running to set me free in a multitude of ways. I have now come to see that Jesus is and always have been the only doorway to any real freedom. I run because of him, I breathe because of Him, I am sober because of Him, and I will strive to be like Him because He has set me free. Those who the son sets free will be freed indeed.
John 8:35-36New International Version
“35 Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever.36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
May the Lord richly bless you with his greatest gift. Your Spiritual Freedom.
On June 11th 2015 I was 55 lbs overweight, drinking half a bottle of bourbon a day, and in terrible health mentally and physically. Yesterday January 10th 2016 I ran my first Ultra Marathon at Sweetwater Creek State Park. The race offered both a 50K and 25K option I opted for the 50K. 7 Months after putting down the bottle I completed my first 50K in the time of 6hrs and 1 minute. I ran my heart out yesterday.
The Sweetwater Creek 50K Fat Ass race is put on by GUTS the “Georgia Ultra Trail Society”. The race director was Janice Anderson and she couldn’t have been a better host. My son Noah came to the race with me and volunteered at the Aid Station. The Aid Station captain was Franco Conti and he really made Noah feel very welcome. It really touched my heart during the day as I heard numerous people tell me what a genuine help that Noah was and how polite and courteous that he was. It made this fathers heart very glad to hear such nice things said about his boy.
I took very few pictures on the day as I was trying as hard as I could to stay in the moment. I borrowed a few pictures from Rhonda Cagle and one from Annie Musgrove I hope they don’t mind.
For the past four months I’ve been running loops in my neighborhood on a course that I’ve affectionately nicknamed “The Crucible”. It was here on this course that God has burned out much dross “waste” from my heart and mind. The Crucible is a 1.06mile course with 19ft of elevation change per mile. I’ve been running some pretty high miles on The Crucible but with very little elevation change. I’ve run back to back 28 and 18 mile days and 60 mile weeks but nothing could have prepared me for the 32.45 miles that I experienced yesterday at Sweetwater State Parks White Trail.
Popular wisdom is that one should do part of their training runs leading up to a race on terrain approximately what you will be running on race day and should practice running at elevation gain approximately what one would experience at race day. As an example for my 46 miles of back to back training I ran on pavement it was only for a total elevation gain of 874 ft. The Sweetwater Trail 50 K was a 99.8% trail run with some very technical trail and according to my Garmin had 3327ft of elevation gain for my 32.45 miles. In retrospect had I to do it again I would have run 5 or 6 times out at Sweetwater Creek but hindsight is 20/20.
The start of the race, the Aid Station, the timing headquarters, pre and post race gathering, and porta johns were all at the Group Shelter.
The night before the race I packed a suitcase with everything that I thought that I might need after having read quite a lot on the subject. I made a checklist and checked things off as they went in the suitcase. I laid out my clothes for the next day and went to bed at 8:45 after having been up since 1:30 in the morning the previous night. I’ve been suffering from insomnia for the past few weeks. Noah laid out his clothes and went to bed after they finished watching the Minions. I awoke promptly at 1:30am again just like the previous night after not even four hours ofsleep. Oh well what are you going to do. After tossing and turning for 3 hours I finally got out of bed around 4am and headed downstairs. I made Noah some Hot Chocolate and put it in an insulated thermos, packed his lunch and some sodas. I made myself oatmeal for breakfast, packed the car, turned it on to warm it up and then I woke up Noah. Noah hopped out of bed, threw on his clothes, and within ten minutes we were on the road.
On our way to the race we talked for a few minutes and then I threw on one of my favorite Ultarunning podcasts “Talk Ultra” by Ian Corlis. Noah and I were laughing listening to Ian talk about bonking on a recent hike at Transvulcania on the Island of La Pama.
Tripping along the GR131
It is supposedly one of thee most beautiful trails in the whole world. Ian went out for a two day hike and didn’t bring enough water. He’s a very humorous fellow and Noah and I really enjoyed his story. Highly recommend his podcast he has all the worlds top runners on. It was at this time in the car ride that I started to get nervous.
When we arrived at the group shelter it was 6:50 am and it was cold and still dark. The weather app on my phone said 47 degrees but it was windy and felt much cooler right next to the reservoir. I found Janice Anderson the race director to introduce Noah to her and went to register and get my race number #35. When we arrived I met Jeff Galinas who was helping to get tables and chairs set up. I saw a few old friends Rhonda Cagle and Kevin Randolph as well as few other runners from the Atlanta Southside Trail Runners Annie Musgrove, David Esslinger, and Thomas Rivas.
After a few minutes I put on another layer as I was already cold and the weather was supposed to drop during the day. I put on my heart rate monitor, my Garmin, packed my vest with salt tabs, another set of gloves, another hat, put on my fanny pack which had tissues, my phone, and a wash cloth. A short time later they had everyone come outside and we were ready to race.
The previous day I had called a friend of mine Mark Holloway to ask some advice on the race. Mark is an Iron Man finisher and a close friend and I wanted to ask him some advice. Unfortunately he was in Kentucky at the time and I didn’t get to catch up to him until a couple of hours after I had completed the race.
For the past two months I’ve been training using Dr. Phil Maffetone’s 180 Formula. In it’s simplest terms you take your age minus 180 and you train at this heart rate without exception to build your aerobic base. I’ve been using his training and have seen excellent results in my overall speed when using the MAF test, a once a month test at MAF heart rate to test your speed over the previous month. I’ve been running at 135bpm on my 19ft of elevation change 1.06mile course and wanted to ask Mark if I should try to complete the 50K using the same training regime that I had been doing or if I could I actually race the 50K with the aerobic gains that I had made so far. Well I never got in touch with Mark and at the start line wasn’t sure what I was going to do.
Very early in the race I hooked up with David Esslinger who I had met before the race began. On the first real climb my heart was pinging at 162bpm. I figured at this point I had two options. One was to drop from running with David and try to get my heart rate down or two to keep running with David and have some fun. I chose the second. So with my 50-60 miles a week of mileage on 19ft of elevation change per mile I completed my first lap around the 5.2mile White Trail at Sweetwater Creek State Park. For the race I would average 154bpm with a max heart rate of 172bpm. Much different than what I have been training my body on to build my aerobic base. Here are my splits for the day.
I brought two Nathan Speed Hand Held Water Bottles for the days hydration. I recently started running with them. I foolishly tried running with a full hydration pack filled with water the week before the race it really beat up my legs. Note to self don’t try anything new the week before the race.
Noah kept one of the handhelds at the Aid Station and would fill it with water, two Aldi fruit strips at 45 calories each , and one Trader Joe’s strawberry breakfast bar at 140 calories. I had read that on race day that you shouldn’t try anything that you hadn’t tried in training. To cut costs during my training Aldi fruit strips and Trader Joe’s breakfast bars have all I’ve been eating for fuel. By the fourth lap my cereal bars were tasting like banana I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat another one every again. Not sure what the deal was but I was having trouble stomaching them.
In the cold temperature both the fruit strips and cereal bars were very hard and difficult to eat. By the third lap I asked Noah to put three fruit strips in each pouch as I was getting hungry. Every time around I made sure to empty my 22oz bottle of water and eat my food. After my fourth lap I ate two small pieces of peanut butter sandwiches, after my fifth lap all that sounded appealing was Baby Ruth candy bars fortunately there were a mini and small size left. I took two small pieces of grilled cheese with me on my sixth loop and choked them down, not that there was anything wrong with the grilled cheese. I knew I needed to eat something the cereal bars weren’t cutting it and I was running on empty. So for five of the loops I ate my fruit strips, for four loops I ate my cereal bars, and for laps 5 and 6 I ate what I could. I would try to do most of my eating while walking up the 75 Steps from Hell. Noah was a huge help to have my hydration bottles ready which made my time at the aid station very quick.
I only stopped at the aid station for more than 30 seconds two times during the day. The first time was after lap 3 when I had to use the bathroom. And the second time was after lap 4 when I had to change my socks and shoes as I developed a hot spot. I sat in the chair and my left quad started to seize up. I bent over to take off my socks and it happened again. Noah thankfully came in the shelter and helped me to put on my new socks and shoes. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit down again. I headed out on the trail and took an extra dose of salt tabs. I had been taking 2 per lap and took 3 more as I exited the aid station. Somewhere on lap 5 I lost my salt tabs. I really wanted more during my sixth loop but no luck. Thank you whoever picked up my trash as I was looking for them on the tail during loop six.
The Sweetwater Creek White Trail is exceedingly beautiful. I’ve run very little on trails during my running career and this was my first extended period of time on a trail and my first time racing one. I felt like a five year old kid. There were trees to jump over, steep hills filled with rocks, all kinds of streams, bridges, raging waters, steep inclines to run up and down, railroad tie steps, 75 steps of wooden hell, technical rooty trails, single track sand trails, single track pine straw trails, single track dirt trails, double track meandering trails, fire roads, and beautiful views all day long. I kept having to pinch myself. How had it take me so long to do something so incredibly “fun”. Yes the trail was not easy, no I hadn’t trained for anything like this, but oh boy especially on laps 1 and 2 when my legs were fresh did I have a blast. There is one section called Jack’s Hill. On my first two runs down it I flew down like a little kid. Laps 3 through 6 not so much as I had torched my legs the first times through. Here is just a couple pics of the beautiful trails.
Here is a picture of the New Manchester Manufacturing Mill where some of the Movie The Hunger Games was filmed.
The one thing that struck me all through the day was how incredibly friendly and encouraging everyone was. I kept hearing all day “good job”, “looking good”, “way to go”. When I would pass someone I would hear “looking strong”, “go get em”, and the like. It was just a real great vibe out there. After the race there was a fire in the fireplace in the shelter, multiple crock pots of chili, my personal favorite was number 4 I believe it was a spicy vegan chili. On my second helping I mixed some of number 3 together which was a not spicy beef chili with the number 4 spicy vegan chili it was pure heaven. What a great way to end the day. Noah and I talked with Jim Bickelhaupt after the race, he passed me on lap five, he’s the race director of the Red Top Rumble which he told us sold out in less than two hours.
Next year I plan to volunteer at the Sweetwater Fat Ass so my son Noah and my wife Heather can have the chance to run such a fun event at such a beautiful course.
The highlights of the day were getting to run on such a beautiful course, getting to see my son at the aid station every loop, and hearing such wonderful things said about him. It was such a blessing to finish my first 50K with him there cheering me on. The most difficult part of the day was the final time up the 75 Steps from Hell . Next year I understand the course will be going down the steps and up Jack’s Hill I don’t know what is worse. I did run some bonus time on the last lap as I saw some blue tape and followed it way off trail, oh well I did get to see more of the Park than the average runner. One thing that I heard in numerous podcasts was “if it hurts to walk and hurts to run, then run”. I said that to myself quite a lot during the last three laps.
Today as I sit here on my couch with our baby boy Gabe sleeping in his playpen next to me I am struck by how much my life has changed in the past seven months. Seven months ago I was miserable former runner who had turned into an overweight alcoholic couch potato. Today I am a sober lean Ultrarunner who just completed his first 50K. Today I’m back on the couch but it’s only for a moment.
A big thank you to my wife Heather who has put up with me for almost 17 years. Without her help and encouragement I never would have made it back.
On April 2nd our family will be putting on our own race The Crucible 12 Hour Fat Ass. There will be a 3 and 6 hour option as well. I can tell you it will be much easier than what I went through yesterday. 19ft of elevation change per mile is nothing. Last week I had someone from Knoxville,TX who is going to come run. Yesterday I had someone from California of all places sign up. I’m putting on this race to shoot for my first 5o miles. We will put on any races that we do as Fat Asses which means free as my wife Heather and I are following Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University and trying to get out of debt. I’m currently working on a 2 mile trail in the woods behind our house and may be putting on a 24 Hour Fat Ass later in the year.
First week of MAF training. Dr Phil Maffetone developed a heart rate training program to build your areobic base. Here is a link to his work MAF Heart Rate Program . It’s been a big change to how I’ve been training since I began running 6.5 years ago. Basically you take your age and subtract it by 180 to get your maximum heart rate. Depending on a number of factors you either add or subtract 5 beats depending on your fitness history and overall health. Mine stayed right at 135 beats. Considering that I’ve been averaging 150 beats per minute on my recover days and 155-160 on my harder training days this has been quite a departure in my training. To keep my heart rate in the proper zone I’ve been having to pretty much crawl up hills and am even having to stop running and walk in sections to keep my heart rate where it is supposed to be. In my previous marathon training mindset this would have felt very defeating but with my growing interest in Ultra Running this hasn’t been so hard to bear. When running 31 plus miles walk breaks are the norm for all but the most elite Ultra Runners.
The ideas here is to train my body, specifically the aerobic part of my body to work more efficiently, to seek out fat store for the preferred energy source, and to avoid overuse injuries. The idea is that as your retrain your body to function at at lower heart rate that eventually your body will grow accustomed to this lower load but that your average pace should begin to go up as your heart rate remains lower. According to everything I have read this can be a 3 to 6 month process. As I’ve been injury prone in the past and as a slower average pace is in line with my Ultra Running goals I’m going to give it a shot and see where it gets me.
37 days to my first 50K at the GUTS Sweetwater Fat Ass. A Fat Ass race is basically a self supported race, no aid stations, no water drops, no nothing. You are responsible for your own food and hydration. I’ve never run more than 26.2 miles before so running an unsupported 31 miles on trails in the woods should be interesting. I’ve ramped up my miles quicker than I would have liked these past weeks to try and get myself ready but didn’t want to pass of the opportunity to get my first 50K in, especially as it was a free event.
Today is a rest day for me, maybe some light walking but that is about it. I’ve been doing back to backs on the weekends. Tomorrow I’m running 18 miles and 10 miles on Sunday. Next weekend 20 and 12.
Last night we had a great time handing out homemade Christmas cookies to our neighbors. We all had a good time and met some super nice people. We had a nice time post cookie handing out around our Advent Wreath talking about the first candle of Advent being the candle of Promise. Heather and I fell asleep on the couch while watching Home Alone with the kids. Sunday we will head out again to hand out some more Christmas cookies. Tonight Heather is having some of the neighborhood children over to make gingerbread houses.
Thankful that God is a God of restoration, that His promises are true, and that His mercies are new every morning.
Running Totally Free 